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Friday, November 30, 2007

A Minister Walks Into a Bar...
By webmaster @ 2:16 PM :: 522 Views :: 5 Comments :: Rev. David Lewicki

I meet tons of people who don't go to church. Especially here in New York, it's nothing unusual.

For a while, I was self-conscious about my status as "clergy." I walk into a bar or party, strike up a conversation, and of course, the first thing we ask each other is "what do you do?" I say, "I'm a pastor." And often the response is some variaton on, "Cool... take care..." and they turn and walk away.

I used to think this was my affliction—like I was the carrier of a disease. Church-itis. And that I should be quarantined from all social events for young people.

But I've come to be sensitive to the complexity of these interactions. I really believe that most non-church-going people would come to church, if they knew a church that they liked. I believe most people have a spiritual core—a deep set of values and an awareness, however vague, of the divine... and that this awareness aches to be expressed in ritual and through spiritual practices.

But I also think young people have rejected many existing churches for good and diverse reasons: exclusivism, judgmentalism, dated and outmoded rituals, leadership that wants youth—but doesn't really respect youth culture. So the spiritual self perseveres... but the connection to organized religion is thin or broken altogether.

Now, when people find out I'm a pastor, I realize that I present them with a conundrum: I represent a mirror for the un-nurtured spiritual part of themselves. When I talk to someone, I force them to confront how seriously (or not) they have taken their own spiritual identity. I put people in a hard spot. I don't mean to, but by my very presence, I am a problem. I get it when people don't want to deal with this at a bar on a Friday night, so they walk away.

My hope is to present a way of being in-the-church-but-not-altogether-comfortable-with-the-church that shows people that they don't have to love the institution to participate in the practices. I also participate in a national network of church leaders who go by the name "the emerging church." I believe this group is having a conversation about the future of churches that will help the church universal continue to evolve into a church appropriate to the present culture and context of New York.

So if you're a Marble church-goer, my advice to you is: feel neither guilt nor superiority when you meet someone who doesn't go to church. Let there be an open and honest communion of souls... and if the way be clear, don't forget to tell them that Marble is leaving the light on for them. A church full of "prodigal children" can do no other.

Comments

By LynnD123 @ Saturday, December 01, 2007 8:59 PM

Hi, David,

It is not only the young who are disillusioned with traditional churches today. Middle aged and older people, if they take their spiritual journey seriously, also question the relevancy of church-as-we-know-it.

Wednesday is my new Sunday.

By john cadue @ Monday, December 03, 2007 11:35 AM

well David you know of course that is isn't about you when peopel walk away it triggers feelign within them that they don't wan t to deal with hence they are in a bar on fri night to make them feel good aobut themselves perhpas or thier lives or the pressures of teh week, but it is important that you continue to put it out there as teh pepel who have been allienated from teh spiritual experience by a variety of hard knocks disguised sometiems literally but teh cloth of the clergy, were turned away one at a tiem and just as with Jesus' ministry will be brought back to faith one at a tme, and usualy faith needs an example. I feel thisis one of the ways that Marbel is so helpful to me I always tell peopel how user friendly it is, as a matter of fact i just had that conversation twice this weekend. Walk in the faith Abraham, the flock will return for all other ground truely is sinking sand.

By chooper @ Tuesday, December 04, 2007 10:13 PM

I think that Wednesday works for me because it feels more relevant to what I think about as a spiritual person. I also think that the emerging church will need to take into account a multitude of beliefs. I like to read buddhist philosphy as well as Hindu philosphy. I can learn from everyone. Part of the turn-off is when Christians think that they are the only people with THE solution. So I like the sense of openness that you bring. Don't worry about the people in the bar...they will catch up. Just be patient.

By studlee @ Thursday, December 06, 2007 7:25 PM

My man,

First of all, I am glad you are going out to the parties and the bars, as oppossed to looking down upon those who do.

I think of how many folks have a bad impression of "clergy" or Christians in general. I think that all changes when non-Christains/non-Church-goers
get to meet someone of the church face to face.
And that pastor or Christian they meet does not judge, condemn or devalue their presence or lifestyle. We get to engage the person first, just like Jesus.

I think when we do that, we are doing God's work. And...who knows, maybe that person is facing a crisis and meeting a pastor can be God's sign that God and those who have a relationship with God can be found anywhere and everywhere.

But if anybody asks about that water-into-wine stuff...I think you should smack'em in the back of teh head!

By Bflood27 @ Wednesday, January 02, 2008 2:19 PM

Well I will say Connection is the first place I have ever been where I feel like I am in a group of people who love Christ, and actually act like Christ. No censorship, no looking down their noses.A lot of this has to do with you David and your approach. When speaking to you, I don't think "oh I am talking to a minister now, so I need to censor", -you know you are speaking to a minister who is also a person. You have fostered a community of Love where I can ask any question and not be judged of feel ashamed. Isnt that what Christ instructed us to do? I am sure when he was hanging out with the outcasts, the prostitutes, and drunks, in those mysterious 30 missing years, Christ talked to people about everyday things, money, sex, things they could relate to. Sure everyone wants to discuss the warm and fuzzy God stuff, but when it gets to dark , taboo things Jesus talked about those too. Sure it isnt scriptual, but who knows what happened in those years we missed. Anyway all this is to say Marble has created a group that is relevant to 20 and thirties that talks about isses we face, with the love of God. You can take credit for doing your part to help make this atmosphere.

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