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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Count Your Many Blessings
By webmaster @ 12:01 AM :: 525 Views :: 1 Comments :: Dr. Michael Brown

A friend of mine in ministry is like me. With each new year he reinterprets the meaning of "mid-life," extending its boundaries farther and farther. A few years ago, his dark brown hair began to become salt-and-pepper. Over time, it became less pepper and more salt. So, he decided to do something about it.

My friend went to a local drug store in search of the do-it-yourself lotions that promise a natural look with just a little gray left in. Mostly pepper, a touch of salt. Now you need to know, my friend calls himself "frugal." His wife has another name for it. His frugality kicked in when he spotted a store brand hair coloring kit. Maybe the quality was not the same. Or, maybe he just had no idea how to apply it. Who knows? All I know is that his hair did not become dark and boyish brown again. Instead, it became almost iridescent purple. Truly. His wife said if he had bought a red plastic nose, he could have gone to work for Barnum and Bailey! He told me he knew he couldn't step into the pulpit like that, nor could he face his staff in the church building. Something had to be done.

So, my friend promptly returned to the corner drug store where he located a box of hair color remover. It worked well. It took out the purple. But, what was left was not boyish brown, but what his loving spouse called "Big Bird yellow." At last, he visited his barber, a large, cigar-chewing fellow who looked like in a former life he had been a cast member of The Sopranos. "Can you fix it?," my friend plead. The barber took a look, shifted the cigar, and grunted: "Yeah, I can fix it. Sit down!" The barber then proceeded to spend about sixty seconds giving the minister a buzz cut. His wife, by now providing running commentary on the saga, said: "He looked like he had just enlisted in the Marines." Anyway, once the cut was complete, the barber said: "There, I fixed it. Now, a word of advice – From now on, just be thankful with what God gave you!" He was preaching to the preacher, and it's a sermon lots of us need to hear.

One of the reasons too many folks live dissatisfied lives is that we constantly compare and contrast ourselves to others: "He is richer... She is prettier... He has a better job... She has a larger apartment... He got a better role... She has a stronger voice... I don't measure up." And in those moments, fixated on what we lack and oblivious to what we possess, the sunlight we ought to enjoy gives way to self-imposed shadows.

A friend of mine has a nighttime ritual. After saying her prayers, cuddled beneath the covers, she begins to name blessings from the day. Often they are little things that most would overlook: an unexpected phone call from a friend, a sweet smile from the cashier in the grocery line, warm sunshine on an afternoon walk, the sight of a rainbow. She said: "Naming my blessings is a wonderful sedative. I always fall asleep before I complete the list." Remember how Ethel Waters used to sing it?

"Count your many blessings, Name them one by one.

Count your many blessings, and see what God has done."

One of the keys to peace and happiness in life is to focus on what we have more than on what we lack. As Paul said: "Give thanks in all circumstances." ( I Thessalonians 5:18) Or, as the barber from The Sopranos put it: "Be thankful with what God gave you." It's a lesson I often need to remember.

Comments

By whalerider @ Thursday, September 01, 2011 7:21 PM

This is a modern parable, albeit, with humor, wisdom, and comment upon our contemporary times. I can certainly identify with the man whose hair changed so many shades. It reminds me of the horse of many colors in the Wizard of Oz, Now, seemingly an ancient film but yet a classic, the horse continually morphs in terms of color. Certainly, none of us want to go through such a regime of "changing" ourselves to match whatever we think the "right" hair color, or more subtly, the right 'heart-fullness" should be.

I have studied envy for half a lifetime and think I have finally outfled its pernicious talons. Envy hurts not only the one envying but the one envied. Its a dual-bladed dagger.

Part of your story speaks to how we try to change on a more superficial way to keep up with the collective cultural "whatever." And, in doing so, we fall flat on our faces, because, in so doing, we lose the essence of the unique blueprint that we are. Self-acceptance is far more difficult that some of the modern life coachings profess.

To love oneself deeply is to love He who created us (or she--pronouns become irrelevent at a certain point).

I like your friends ritual of liminality in saying blessings for the good things before going to bed. I try to do that too, and it usually helps me to sleep better. In so doing, we are sending healthful messages to the brain--the synapses start to relax. They don't have to shoot around but can rest.

The body-mind-psyche is all so connected. If we can try to not watch news or movies of violence before sleeping but, instead, just try lying flat in bed face up. Spread your limbs. Be vulnerable. Its okay, you can be like a child. No one is looking. In fact, at this point, you can be anything in your state of mind. Allow it to happen. Let your mind first wander and find an image. I often start with something of a happy memory from the past. And I just let it go. The mind is very powerful, but it can be subdued.

These images and sleepy meanderings will help to lead you into REST. For those of us who are sensitive sleepers, waking with every noise, or a snor---we can begin to find a nice warm encompassing container that hovers over us as we go to sleep. And if we dream of having purple and yellow hair--so be it. But I doubt it.

Thanks Michael for stimulating thoughts.

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