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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Cookie Lady
By webmaster @ 7:00 AM :: 249 Views :: 2 Comments :: Rev. Peggy Funderburke

This week, as many of you know, I am away in Tampa visiting my Mom. My Mom has dementia and has lived in an assisted living facility for the past 5 years. It is really hard to be a good, attentive daughter with her so far away, geographically. In my heart, she is always with me; she has always been my prime example of generous living.

Mom was known as the “Cookie Lady” in her church. Mom always baked cookies for every occasion—vacation bible school, weddings, funerals, birthdays, ‘sunshine days’ for shut-ins, church committee meetings—it didn’t matter what the circumstance, Mom always arrived with her offering of home-made love. Folks seemed to recognize that her cookies represented the offering of her finances, her time and her talents.

Mom doesn’t remember the “Cookie Lady” any more. Mom is teaching me different things now; like celebrating the moments that we have together. She teaches me about being more flexible, more unassuming, less expecting. She has trouble following the plot line in Disney movies—but she loves the colors and the tunes!

I grieve my Mom’s illness. Grief and I have become friends. Each visit, there is less of my Mom. There is more of this silent stranger living in my Mom’s body. I thank God that we hold hands when we walk; that she likes for me to hug her; that she loves that I tuck-her-in at night; that my be-ing with her is enough.

It is hard watching as God draws Mom closer and closer; as my human reality is moved farther away. Old age is not for the weak or faint of heart. As we all age, we are faced with the care of our parents and the care of ourselves. We are called to be good stewards.

November is “Stewardship” month here at Marble. I looked up steward in the dictionary. Definition number one reads: “One who manages another’s property, finances, or other affairs; an administrator; supervisor.” God gave Mom her time, finances and talent.

Our loved ones are only ‘ours’ for a while. I encourage you to be a good steward of your time, talents and finances—there is always a need for a Cookie Lady.

Comments

By john cadue @ Friday, November 09, 2007 1:16 PM

Dea rRev Funderburke, First of all let me say how sorry I am for what is happening to your Mom, and on the other hand for sharing it with us all. I have learned alto from just this one blog. First of all i wll never look at a cookie again and they are plentiful at Marble without thinking fo this story. Number Two because I am removed from teh emotional contact of havign this happeing ot MY MOM I can see other Blessings in it. liek begin sable to saty in the present for that is all we truely have, that being is much more important then stuff, and that we really are spiritual beings having a human experience and that is reall is only for such a short time so the colors and the tunes are much more important then the plot. Thansk you for sharing this eal profile in courage both hers and yours and I will keep you in my prayers.

By Brenda Rodstrom @ Sunday, November 11, 2007 6:06 PM

Hi Peggy,

I'm so sorry your mom and you are going through this. Both my parents suffered dementia. I think there is a lesson in dementia - God must have had some reason when he created this - perhaps it is being in the moment, which is particularly hard when seeing a parent lose their minds AS WE KNOW THEM. With my Dad I always tried to pull him out of it and remind him of who we all were. Mom's came later, and I was taught by others to go where she was, as difficult as that was. I wanted her back so much! I actually collected some funny stories about going where my mom was and what we did - these funny stories are my memories, and I cherish them.
My prayers with you both. Brenda

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