There is a wrinkle on the deeply seasonal Advent topic of waiting that I came across recently.

When "waiting" in my life, either actively or in my usual passive and panicked state, if I am honest, I have an idea, even a wish list, of what I am waiting for. I may think I am waiting with an open stance, but I am actually concrete in my hopes, and specific in the dreads I need avoided, thank you.

Henri Nouwen, in one of his many profound books on the spiritual life, has linked waiting and fear: "The more afraid we are, the harder waiting becomes." He takes it further by advocating "open-ended" waiting, which he acknowledges as difficult "because we tend to wait for something very concrete, for something that we wish to have." Thus our waiting is a way of controlling the future.

Nouwen concludes:

"It was only when I was willing to let go of my wishes that something really new, something beyond my own expectations, could happen to me. To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life."

I think this may be one of the ultimate, radical Advent stances:  to live in that place where expectation and blessing are separate things; a place where God's blessings may look quite unlike anything we expected, or even thought we could handle. 

To wait open-endedly. Also sounds to me like a place of raw, immediate and heart-felt prayer. Try this Advent journaling exercise: Are you waiting for anything this Advent? Are you waiting for someone in your life to do something? For God to do something? Is God waiting for YOU to do something? See what comes up, and let prayer surround it this coming week. In this season, we are called to be agents of both change and patience... while retaining the capacity to be surprised, very surprised.