 Psalm 40:1-5
I once had a friend who had the habit of being busy doing other things while I was talking to him. Even when he wasn't actually performing other tasks, he was always preoccupied. He would rarely look me directly in the eye; his eyes were always darting this way and that. After a time, I came to know his habits and I became able to talk to him. But when I was discussing something serious with him, I would sometimes say, "Are you listening to me? Did you hear what I said?"
On those occasions, he would respond, "Oh yes, I heard every word you said!" He would then repeat everything back to me verbatim. It would drive me crazy. He listened with his head, but never with his heart.
How important it is to really listen when someone else is talking. How important it is to listen not only with the mind, but to be present and listen with the heart. If people did that, the world would be a much better place. Our emotional health would improve. Our relationships would be warmer, more intimate and more secure. Listening is that powerful a thing.
Hear what the American writer Brenda Ueland said about the extraordinary power of listening...
"Listening creates us. It makes us unfold and expand. When we listen, ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life."
There are many extraordinary Scripture passages about listening. If you've heard me preach with any regularity over the years, you know how important a certain passage has been in my own faith journey. It's the 40th Psalm. There are few words anywhere that so compellingly describe the power of listening...
"I waited patiently for the Lord. The Lord inclined toward me and heard my cry. The Lord lifted me up out of the desolate pit, out of the miry bog. The Lord put my feet on a rock, making my steps secure. And then the Lord put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God."
I would like to revisit the thoughts that passage contains and consider them in more depth.
"I waited patiently..." We know that when we approach God with our questions and concerns, we must wait for a reply. Patience is a virtue. It is a part of our growth process.
"The Lord inclined toward me and heard my cry..." After we wait, we are at last rewarded. The Lord listens and gives us the benefit of His heart! He understands our pain and knows who we are.
"The Lord lifted me up out of the desolate pit..." The Lord not only listens. He blesses us, embraces us and lifts us up.
"The Lord put my feet on a rock..." The Lord places us where we can stand and walk tall because profound changes have taken place in our lives. God has listened with His heart and helped us with our problems.
"And then the Lord put a new song in my mouth..." We have new life! There's a new song in our mouths, a song of praise to our God.
If all people could be heard in that way, how many tragedies would be averted? How many crimes would never be committed? How many lost and despairing lives would be reclaimed? Great things can happen through the power of an attentive ear and a listening heart.
How can we improve our listening skills so that we lift up others? The prerequisite is the attitude, the mindset, the approach we bring to our encounters with other people. Good listening will never happen if we don't love, care, respect, and honor other human beings.
In the last century, one of the greatest scholars and spiritual leaders of the Jewish faith was a man named Martin Buber. His little book, I and Thou, contains profound messages about how we can effectively relate to other people. There's the "I," but there is also the "thou" -- that other person. That other person is not an it, not a thing, not a commodity, not something to be manipulated. That thou is a sacred entity, a spiritual being, a child of God. It is our responsibility to relate to that other human being, and to all human beings, as children of God, as souls. When we do that, God grows within us and at the same time, we call upon God to emerge in the other person. It happens when we seek to listen not only with our minds, but with our hearts.
Another great man of the 20th century was Dr. Paul Tournier, a Swiss psychiatrist. He was renowned for his sensitivity, gentleness and spirituality. Paul Tournier believed that every patient who came to see him -- in fact, everyone he met -- had been sent to him by God.
We can believe in that possibility too, that everybody who crosses our paths has been sent to us by God. There's a lesson to be learned and a meaning to be grasped in each encounter. If we think that way, we deeply change the way we relate to others. We can begin to listen in a completely new way.
Of all the great listeners who ever lived, Jesus had to be among the most extraordinary. Did He not incline Himself toward people? Did He not meet them with more than just His mind, but with His soul and with His heart?
Scripture tells us that He did. One of the more fascinating scriptural accounts of Jesus' encounters with others tells the story of the time He met a man named Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus was a little man, small in stature. He was curious to see Jesus. So one day when he knew Jesus would be passing by in Jericho, Zacchaeus climbed a sycamore tree and waited. When Jesus passed by, He looked up and saw Zacchaeus sitting there. Now, Zacchaeus was a notorious person. A bad man, a dark character. He was a tax collector who took advantage of people, most often widows and others who were unable to protect themselves. Zacchaeus took their money. He was a despicable man.
When Jesus saw him, He said, "Zacchaeus, come on down."
Zacchaeus must have been shocked that Jesus knew who he was, but he came down. Jesus said, "I want to spend some time with you."
And Jesus invited Himself to Zacchaeus' house. We don't know what they said to each other, but we do know that something significant happened. Jesus must have been an extraordinary listener, because the heart and soul of that despicable man Zacchaeus were moved. The love and spirit of God began to stir in him.
I believe that Jesus reached out to that love in Zacchaeus. Jesus heard his inner yearnings. He heard his cries. He heard his sadness and his brokenness. He heard his fear. He affirmed Zacchaeus and loved him and blessed him. By the time they had finished their conversation, Zacchaeus said, "I'm going to pay back, fourfold, everybody I cheated. I will make justice. I will do the right thing."
It happened because Jesus inclined toward Zacchaeus and listened to him. That troubled man was brought up out of his desolate pit, out of his miry bog. He was set upon secure ground. He had a new life and a new song in his mouth.
Scripture tells many other stories of Jesus the listener. There was the time when He was visiting his two friends Mary and Martha, who were sisters of Lazarus. From Scripture, we can gather that Martha was something of a busybody, always preoccupied. When Jesus arrived, she was busy in her kitchen, fixing this, fixing that. In contrast, Mary immediately sat down with Jesus and she was listening to Him. Finally, Martha came out and said, "Jesus, why don't you tell my sister to help me? I'm doing all the work."
In essence, Jesus replied, "Martha, please stop the distraction. Come and sit down and let's just be with each other." He was talking about the power and the necessity of listening.
In the cities where we live, we see so many homeless people. It's one of the tragedies of American life. In this great, rich, abundant country, there are still people who don't have a place.
When I walk to church each morning, I usually pass through the intersection of Third Avenue and 42nd Street. Often, on the southeast corner, there is a man sitting on the sidewalk with his back against a light post. His head is always down and between his knees he holds a cup, hoping people will give him money. On more than one occasion, I have seen one young woman crouching down at eye level with this man, talking with him. My guess is that, of the hundreds and thousands of people who cross that street every day, she is the only one who stops and pays attention to him. She talks and she listens. I don't know anything about this man or his life situation, but I do know this -- someone is listening. Someone wants to hear what he has to say. Someone treats him as a respectable human being.
There's another story I like to tell about listening's power to lift people up. One day, three people were having lunch in a diner. They were a grandmother, a mother, and a little girl. The waitress first took the grandmother's order, then the mother's. Finally, she said to the little girl, "Honey, what would you like?"
The mother of the little girl interrupted. She said, "No, I'm going to order for my daughter."
Yet the waitress continued to concentrate on the little girl and repeated, "Honey, what is it that you really want?"
The little girl said, "I would like a hamburger."
And the waitress said, "Do you want mustard and relish and ketchup and the works?"
And the little girl clapped her hands with glee and she replied, "Yes, I want the works!"
The waitress turned to the kitchen and called out the orders for the grandmother and mother. Then she paused and said in a bellowing voice, "And give me a deluxe hamburger with the works!"
And the little girl said, "Mommy...Mommy, she thinks I'm real!"
Yes, when we pay attention to somebody, when we listen with our hearts, we make a difference.
The American poet Emma Wheeler Wilcox, who lived in New York City, wrote a poem that sums up the benefits of being heard...
So many Gods,
So many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind.
While just the act of being kind
Is all that this world needs.
I'm going to amend it so that it reads...
So many Gods,
So many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind.
While just the act of a listening heart
Is all that this world needs.
Listen. Listen so that you hear. Be attentive. Be present. Get beyond the place where you and others communicate like ships that pass in the night.
When you listen, you lift people up out of their miry bog, out of their desolate pit. You awaken God in them, put their feet on secure ground and help them feel like somebody. They're in their fullness. You have put a new song in their hearts. Let us pray.
Lord, the great listener, and Jesus, the extraordinary listener, let us follow in Your examples and learn to listen, to hear, to strengthen, to affirm and to bless. Help us, O Lord, for we need You. In Jesus' name we ask. AMEN
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