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 Matthew 26:36-39
When I was a little boy I loved to run and to jump. I loved to run up the stairs, and even more to run down the stairs as fast as I could, watching my flying feet. Often I would challenge friends, young and old, to race me down the steps.
I remember the day I was able to go up the stairs two steps at a time -- that was a big deal. To me it was equivalent to finally having a hand large enough to stretch an octave on the piano.
Do you remember the W. T. Grant & Co. five-and-ten-cent store? They were the first store in my hometown to have an escalator. That was really exciting for me. I remember having to line up the first day it was open to the public. To me it was as if I were gliding to heaven. What are they going to think of next?
As I was riding up, I was challenged with the idea, "Someday I want to be able to run up a down escalator!" That hasn't happened, and I'm too old to attempt it now.
I have a memory, when I was three, maybe four years old, being several steps up on a stairway with my father at the bottom, and I wanted to jump but was scared. "Jump, Arturo," he said. "Jump!" I wouldn't do it. Again he urged me, and again I just couldn't do it. I was scared. Then he said, "Jump -- you can trust me." And so I did jump. He caught me and I remember that extra squeeze before he put me down.
That very clear memory has served as a metaphor for my life, my spiritual journey, and my relationship with God. When I have been at a crossroads, in a dark place, or facing a dilemma, when it has been difficult and I needed answers, I would go to God. Sometimes I would jump. And sometimes I wouldn't. But every time I did make that leap and trusted God, things worked out better.
And, come to think of it, every human being that I have known who ever trusted God enough to take that leap has never regretted it.
Trusting God is one of the most important, powerful things any human being can do. But it can be hard to do. We can better trust God if we know who God is. Recently, in a question-and-answer session with a group of new members joining Marble Church we had some discussion about the nature of God. So many people in that group had the experience I had, being told as children that God is angry and punitive and harsh and removed from the human sphere.
Whereas, the reality is that is not God! The church has done a terrible thing to many young people by portraying God as concerned more about rules and regulations -- "you do this" and "you don't do that"-- the good girl/bad girl, good boy/bad boy syndrome. It took me years to untangle these misconceptions I had about God.
God is love. God is not so much interested in the rules and regulations as in establishing loving, healing and forgiving relationships with people. God wants to be involved with us in a loving, embracing way. Someone has said that Jesus is God spelled out in language we can understand. Jesus is more loving and nurturing than we know! You want to get the idea of God and relationships?
Look at the way Jesus gathered His disciples -- He sought them out. Look at how He related to them -- yes, He criticized and confronted them. But He loved them with a caring heart, to bring them into closer bonds with Him, to enrich and bless their lives. He never gave up on anybody.
God is the God of the Prodigal Son. We know what the Prodigal Son's father did, how when his son was on his way home he didn't sit and wait for him. Instead he ran toward him, embraced and kissed him. He then threw a big party for him. God is all about celebrating loving relationships.
My heart is warmed each time I think about Joan Collyer, a long-time member of our church staff, and her story of a life-changing moment for her. She was listening to a sermon by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, my predecessor. She described how one day, sitting up in the balcony listening to Dr. Peale preach, she heard him say, "God loves you." But what she heard was, for the first time in her life, "Joanie, God loves you." For the first time she fully grasped the fullness of God's love, and that became the catalyst for a deepening in her spiritual journey that continues today.
God loves you. I remember the time that concept became real for me. I had just graduated from college. After the Second World War there were a number of work camps in Europe where students from different countries would gather together for an experience in international living. I was assigned to a camp in the Dolomite Mountains of northern Italy.
A relationship with a girl I really cared about was in jeopardy and I was feeling very troubled. After lunch one day we had a little siesta. I was in a half-awake and half-asleep state when I had a mystical experience. I had a vision where I was walking down a mountain path holding somebody's hand. The hand had a wrist and a forearm and an elbow -- that's all. Instantly I sensed that I was holding the hand of God -- or God was holding my hand. Never again did I doubt God's love.
I hope you know that God loves you. God's principal interest is establishing a relationship, a communion, with you. Recently I came across an insight on God from a work called The Work of the Chariot.
When a [person] takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that [person] than there are sands in the worlds of time.
If you can believe that, even a part of it, it will advance you spiritually and enable you fully to trust God with your life. But how do we get to the point where we can believe it, where we can finally make that leap and say, "OK, God. I'm going to trust You. I am going to let go of all of the stuff I am holding onto, let go of my own controls, let go of my messed-up mind, my weak ways, and I am going to trust You."
These are some of the things that have helped me. I think of Jesus in the last days of His life, particularly the night He was arrested, when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. He was so grieved, so burdened, that He threw Himself on the ground. He could have walked away from the Cross -- He had every opportunity to. But He had to find out what God's will was for Him. First He said, "If it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Release me from it." But then He said, "Not what I want, not my will, but Your will be done." The next day on the Cross, He said the same words: "Not what I want, but what You want in my life." He trusted, and we know the rest of the story.
There is something else I often think about. Some of you have been present on our trips to Israel when we have read this little sign posted on the fence of the Garden of Gethsemane. It is attributed to Jesus. They are not His actual words, but they represent His thinking and His attitude.
Father, I may not understand You, but I trust You.
How many times do we not understand the logic of God's will for us? And how often can we trust it? There is something I often think about -- an insight by Evelyn Underhill, the mystical writer from England, who said, "God's power comes into action just where our power fails." I think we all know what that means -- that when we've had enough, when we cannot do any more, when we finally say, "God, I need help. I can't do it myself, then God's power miraculously and wonderfully takes over."
Evelyn Underhill did most of her writing before Alcoholics Anonymous, the twelve-step program, was established. Often I will say the twelve-step program out-churches the church because of the simplicity and integrity of its process and disinterest in judging people or jamming people with heavy and burdensome doctrines. Many churches could learn from Alcoholics Anonymous.
I have learned so much about trusting God from the twelve steps of AA. This is the first step: I've got a problem. It is bigger than I am, and because of it my life has become unmanageable. I need help. Some people think we have to hit bottom before coming to the point of saying this. But we don't. We need to come into an awareness that this is the dynamic, and we can admit to ourselves that we have a problem before we hit bottom, before everything crashes around us and we destroy other lives as well. That's the first step.
The second step is recognition of the existence of a higher power, a greater mind. In this church we call this presence God. This presence can bring us back to our senses and can help us straighten out our lives. We can say, "God, I need help. I'm not really doing a good job of this. Please help me."
And the third step: I give my will and my life to this power, trusting what it will do on my behalf. So I surrender, I let go and trust, and then this wondrous power, whom we know as God the Father, takes over and makes our lives over into what they can be.
You know the story of Bill Wilson, the cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous. He was a hopeless drunk. For several years, he would drink two to three bottles of gin a day. Finally, at a very low point, when he was in the hospital suffering from the DT's, he got down on his knees and for once in his life looked to the possibility of a higher power. "If there is a God, show Yourself to me!" He spoke with such authenticity and readiness that immediately, suddenly, the room was filled with a great, white light. In later years he would describe the experience this way:
It seemed to me, in the mind's eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind, not of air, but of spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a free man.
He understood that even though things might seem to be wrong, everything is all right. He knew he was surrounded by the presence of God. He never took another drink.
When a person takes one step towards God, God takes many, many steps toward that person. Finally the time comes when we see the light and we trust and we let go.
I got a letter the other day from a woman who is joining the church today. She has given me permission to tell this story.
I had the distinct pleasure of attending your church for the first time on Palm Sunday... You had asked all present that day to pray for the person they hated the most, to pray God's love for them every day that week. It brought me to tears because for the past year and a half, my husband has been battling with me for custody of our daughters. He has lied and manipulated the legal system to keep them away from me merely because our marriage died, largely due to his abusive behavior. It was indeed the last thing I wanted to do. I was obedient and prayed for him every day. I was amazed that the change that came about was within me, and not him... I had to release a lot of hatred, behavior and old feelings that I know have been preventing God from blessing me. I made peace with the fact that while I was waiting for him to change, God was waiting for me to change and believe in His power completely.
What a beautiful turn of a phrase, that because of her hatreds, God was prevented from blessing her. And as soon as those hatreds, the mean streak, in her was gone -- she was blessed:
Today, I met with an attorney who will be able to move things forward quickly and enable me to move on with my life. This is the first time I have felt that things will turn around. I know it is because of the power of the prayer and the changes that releasing the ugliness within have brought forth.
I don't know where you are. But please know this, that every time you reach out for God, God is swarming you with ways of getting through to you. And be open to that moment when you can say, "God, I am letting go and I'm going to trust You because You know best." Let us pray.
Help us, Lord, in our journey, to have the humility and courage to say, "I can't do it by myself. I need help. I turn my life and my mind and everything I have over to You. Let us work together." AMEN |
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