Have you Ever put God on Hold?

Have you ever put God on hold?  When I was 21 years old , and my mother had just died, I returned to college and met my soon-to-be husband. I longed for a faraway experience in the Peace Corp. but needed to complete my degree. I chose to marry and have a family or go to Peace Corp., maybe never marrying. Being too scared to be alone, I chose marriage. I told God I had to go my way, even though He may disagree.

I knew God was always present, but I wouldn’t lean on Him. Since I didn’t have a church family as my mother had found, going forward, what I wanted wasn’t as important as making sure everyone’s needs were fulfilled as I thought was expected of me.  When I became an empty, walking void of self, I returned to God and asked for three things:  For my children to be self-reliant before I die. To live to and past 50. My maternal grandmother died at 48, and my mother at 49.

Finally, having a love of learning, I wanted an advanced degree, which didn’t seem plausible at the late stage of my career. I promised to surrender control of my life to God and have faith that I would accomplish whatever I needed by God’s grace and mercy.

God has taken me to places beyond my desires, like China, Italy, St. Thomas, VI, Israel, and Curacao. I have obtained my advanced degree: MA in Pastoral Care and Counseling. Only God would place me in a seminary. The road has not been easy, but with God, it has been more bearable, with the bonus of having a church family.

Pat Johnson